Monday, January 31, 2011

Gypsy Genealogy

         This post is going to be about my family on my moms side. They were, by all accounts, rather strange, living lives like gypsies. My grandfather had six brothers and sisters. They would all work together and live near each other most of their lives. They even moved at the same time. They went from state to state living for a while then moving on. One day while sitting at dinner one of the brothers said, "I think its time to move." So they got up and left all there belongings and even the food they had prepared on the table and moved. You may be thinking I'm making this up, but it is the honest truth. They all ended up in California.
          One of the brothers, while living in California, bought a whole room furniture set on credit. He then turned around and sold all the furniture and kept the money. The furniture store man asked him for his money, but he wouldn't pay him. The furniture store man was forced to turn it over to collections. The brother found out that they couldn't do anything as long as you were trying to pay something so he sent the man an envelop with one dollar in it.
          They lived like gypsies for years and years. I guess technically they were gypsies. :) But they eventually stopped the living on top of each other and started there own lives so to speak. I will probably post more stories of each of them later on. This was probably one of there houses. LOL

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sand and Seashells

       One of my favorite memories when i was a child was when me and my friend went camping on an island off the coast. The cabins and buildings are no longer there now due to a hurricane that destroyed everything. We got up early and packed our bags and headed to the ferry that would take us to the island. We went mainly to fish but i don't think either of us even cast the first time. This island had sand dunes that you were actually allowed to play on. It was covered with them. We started out playing hide and go seek and games such as that until we ran up on a raccoon. It was broad daylight and he was moving all around, so thinking it could have rabies we ran. We went out to the beach part and my dad had caught a blow fish. Dont tell animal rights lovers, but we began to play ball with the inflated fish. What im about to tell you is the main reason for this story, I was standing there minding my own business while my friend was throwing seashells toward the ocean. Well just as he threw one the wind caught it and swirled it around and it hit me square in the head. My head started bleeding like crazy. Anyways it was a fun trip. :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

State of the Union???

        Am i the only one that sees all of Obama's speeches are the exact same thing. He says the same thing every speech in a little different order. State of the Union was his campaign speech! And how is building a train going to help us? My fellow Americans you have no jobs, no money, and most of you have lost your houses, but there is good news! I'm proposing we build a train so you can ride to the unemployment office and you will no longer have to walk. And as you all know elections are coming up and i want you to know i am now in the middle and no longer a left wing nut job. (I'm just kidding prince harry I'm still on your team just don't tell the Americans.) Furthermore, unemployment was at 6 percent before my policies and now its 9 percent. Only one of two things could have happened, 1. Its Bushes Fault! or 2. We didn't spend enough money, because everyone knows the fastest way out of debt is to spend more! (Learned that at Harvard) We have to cut spending! Moving on now to My Masterful Health Care Law which was signed by my divine hands. Now look all bills can be improved and this one is no different. I'm looking at you republicans. I know all of America wants this trash burned but did Hitler give up when he was this close? I don't think so. Anyways America looks good and if theres anymore problems Bush did it. Time for me to go on Vacation.
        (State of the Union speech paraphrased)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bo Time!

        This story is about a man i met about a year ago. He is good friends with Patriot Phipps whom i mentioned in an earlier blog. This man is a character in a league of his own. First off the reason for the title is because this man says Bo after everything he says. An example, he said, "That porch looks good BO i swear it do Bo".
        The story begins one Saturday on visitation with the church. We went up to a house and knock on the door. A mix between Santa Claus and ZZ Top answers the door. "Hey BO" he says. I knew right then this guy was a character. After he finished telling us his life story and we told him about Jesus, we left. Soon after the preacher went to go see him again and his foot was all wrapped up. The preacher asked him what happened because his whole big toe was hanging off. He said, "I shot my toe Bo". The preacher said you better get to the hospital and get that checked out. Its going to setup gain green and your going to lose your whole foot. "Bo them doctors will kill ya Bo, ill just soak it in that Epsom's salt Bo" he replied. I could say alot more but I'm all out of time so have a good day BO.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Left Handed Deerslayer

        So far all the stories i have written have been about other people. Well this one is about me. I was in the seventh grade and i was really small for my age. In seventh grade i looked like i should be in the third. My dad is a avid deer hunter and he loved for me to go with him. This particular day it was pretty cold and i didnt want to go, but dad insisted and i eventually gave in. I put on my camo and got in the truck. Me and my dad both got in the same tree stand and waited for the deer to come. All of a sudden out of nowhere a pretty decent sized buck steps out. I begged my dad to give me the gun so i could shoot him. He gave me the gun and told me to shoot him. I had the gun in my left hand and i am not left handed. I guess the adrenaline got the best of me. I looked through the scope (with my left eye) and took the shot. The gun slipped off my shoulder and the rim of the scope nailed me right above my eye. Blood went everywhere and i started to feel light headed. I had to go to the hospital and got eight stitches above my eye. At least i killed the deer.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Patriot Phipps

        Let me just say right up front, we live in a very strange town full of very different people. The story I'm going to tell you today took place about 20 years ago. It started with one man who decided he wasn't going to pay his taxes on his land that year. Well the man was informed by authorities that his land would be seized and put up for auction if he failed to pay his taxes. He was told this countless times yet he still refused to pay. Just as the authorities had said, the land was seized and put up for auction.
          A farmer placed the highest bid and got the land. This didn't set well with patriot Phipps as you can imagine. Patriot Phipps gets the bright idea hes going to make it hard on the farmer who bought the land. What did he think that would prove? Anyways he filled the land with glass and other sharp objects to cut the mans tractor tires. This made the farmer pretty upset, you would be upset to if you had to buy new tractor tires, there not cheap. Anyways over and over Patriot Phipps did this to the man. Let me clear one thing up, i do not believe this man is a Patriot, i just call him that because that is what he calls himself. The farmer decided to do something about this madness so he got the police involved and they did a little stake out. Patriot Phipps showed up with his son and he was up to no good again. The farmer or one of the men with him shot at Phipps but it missed and struck his son and killed him. Phipps was injured by a second shot.
         From that day on he has held a grudge. The man built a hang mans noose in his front yard and now I'm told he has it on a trailer so he can drive it around for all to see. I'm not sure why he is like this, but he was told several times what would happen, and he kept on anyways. He now goes to Raleigh and other places carrying his large trailer trying to prove something. Moral of the story, listen to authorities and just pay your taxes.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Lyle the Crocodile...

            First off this story is true, but Lyle is not a crocodile, he is in fact a human. However Lyle the human does not rhyme so i chose crocodile, plus its and attention grabber. I learned that at school, yes i went to school despite my terrible writing skills. Anyways on to the real story. The story of Lyle. We are working for a guy now, Lyle, who is a multimillionaire. He owns over 75 houses mostly in Wilmington. He is so tight that he bought his office in Wilmington and it had two bedrooms. One of the rooms he converted to living space and has rented it out to someone. The man drives a little Nissan truck and has never had a single new shirt in his life. He told me that out of his own mouth. He goes to consignment shops to buy them. This man, honestly, bought a wife from Asia. His reason was because there used to living with nothing so she wont expect me to buy her things. Anyways we finished the house for him and he called his manager and asked to borrow some money from him to pay us. (His manager is just barely getting by like we are.) He wanted to borrow money because if he took his money out of the bank before the end of the month he would lose a few bucks in interest. People blow me away. The ones that are filthy rich wont spend it and the ones like me cant get enough to spend. Ha Ha guess that's how the world goes. Also contact Lyle if interested in renting beautiful, scenic properties like whats pictured below. 

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Indians say the world will end in 2012!!

        So i met a guy yesterday who seemed to have never set foot outside of his trailer house. He had spent most of his life studying various stories and trying to figure out the end of the earth. This guy had convinced himself the world will end in 2012. He claims to be a Bible believing christian, but when he was questioned on the verse where Jesus says no man knows the day or the hour, he said, "That's not what Jesus was talking about." Hmm so what was Jesus talking about then genius? Tea Time? Some people are very strange. He had all these codes and stuff and he was trying to convince me. All of a sudden a woman walked up who looked as if it was his mother and he said this is my wife. Things just kept getting stranger. After about an hour and a half i finally escaped and got away with my brain still mostly intact. Strange day in which we live..... Also if the world did end in 2012 it would probably look something like this........

Made by my cousin James Welch


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

skREE skREE skREE!

         It was pretty refreshing yesterday night to watch a "horror" movie that didn't have a single curse word nor a bit of nudity. Whats even more odd is the fact it had a story line and not just kill everyone for fun! The movie was even black and white. Too bad you have to go all the way back to 1960 to find one like that. The movie I'm talking about is one of my favorites of all time and that movie is Psycho! LOL If you haven't seen it or at least not in a while its worth watching again. :)